My draft folder is full of stalled ideas. This one jarred loose. You're joining
me in pretending I didn't take over a month off, right? You're the best!
I am not a runner. I can barely be considered a person who can run. My fight-or-flight response is stuck on fight, as my brain is aware of my inability to escape. But at some point, the desire to run a 5K grew beyond the strength of my excuses, so I'm in the midst of a feeble attempt at becoming a runner (jogger is more accurate...let's be real).
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| My encourager with me on a walk. These trails are the best part of this running thing! |
My problem with running is not so much the physical toll as it is the mental panic that sets in when I do feel challenged by the run. I can psych myself out before during and after run. I have talent. So when I looked ahead in my training schedule and saw a jump in the length of intervals, the anxiety started creeping in.
But here's the thing. I ran my scheduled workout, and I had the stamina to complete it. The following workout was more difficult, but again, I had gained the stamina to complete it. Can I run a full 3.1 miles yet? No. But I'm trusting the process.
And that's where I find myself in seeking my God-sized dream. Did I accomplish everything I hoped when we started this journey in January? Nope. We didn't host nearly as many people as I had planned. We still don't have many home projects completed. And I know I'm still heavily lacking in my homemaking skills.
But I also know that I'm in the process. We did choose to invite when we could have avoided. We made progress when we could have stagnated. And I'm gaining confidence where there has been great insecurity. We're sharing our home for the summer and figuring out how to turn friends into community and trusting that this step will lead forward.
I don't have to panic about the full distance. I just have to be faithful with the task He's given to me now and trust that my perseverance will grow. I am challenged to dream, to step out of my comfort zone, to invite God's leading above my own. But I'm also challenged to be present, to love fully, to seek the graces right in front of me. And my, there are many.
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| Linking up here today. Join us? |
Love that you are doing this! I just started using an elliptical and ran 2 miles without stopping the other day....felt amazing! :) Working up to it just like you!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kristin! And way to go with your own process! I feel like I should know this by now, but I'm always amazed at the spiritual lessons learned through the physical. God is good!
DeleteI loved your opening, the part about the folder full of stalled ideas...I have one too! What a wonderful insight you have here, about trusting the process, that where you are is a great place, even if it is not "there" yet. I think much of life is like that. We want to have "arrived", yet the journey is so important! Way to go on the running! Sounds like you are doing great!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, Amy! I agree...there are very few actual finish lines in life, but there is so much to learn in getting there.
DeleteI tried to become a runner. Epic fail! I did manage to finish a 5K, though - took me two hours, but I did it. :)
ReplyDeleteYour post made me think of a dream of my own - a home that is hospitable. We're in the process of having a house built, and sometimes I can't really believe that God's best for us is a house of our very own, brand new, just the way we want it. But for a long time, I've wished we had a house that would allow us to welcome others in, instead of cringing with embarrassment. I'm encouraged to read about your progress, and I look forward to sharing progress of my own!
So many things I love and bring joy to my heart....
ReplyDelete1. You
2. You running...me running...hopefully one day a nice "Wog" together..walk/jog..so of course we can talk.
3. The reminder that we have not failed if we have not accomplished our dreams and goals, but rather continue to trust the Lord in the process. To be fully content and engaged in the present and being faithful in the little...then he brings the much.
Thank you for writing dear sister! :)
miss you!