Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Trusting the Process

My draft folder is full of stalled ideas. This one jarred loose. You're joining 
me in pretending I didn't take over a month off, right? You're the best!

I am not a runner. I can barely be considered a person who can run. My fight-or-flight response is stuck on fight, as my brain is aware of my inability to escape. But at some point, the desire to run a 5K grew beyond the strength of my excuses, so I'm in the midst of a feeble attempt at becoming a runner (jogger is more accurate...let's be real).

My encourager with me on a walk.
These trails are the best part of this running thing!
My problem with running is not so much the physical toll as it is the mental panic that sets in when I do feel challenged by the run. I can psych myself out before during and after run. I have talent. So when I looked ahead in my training schedule and saw a jump in the length of intervals, the anxiety started creeping in.

But here's the thing. I ran my scheduled workout, and I had the stamina to complete it. The following workout was more difficult, but again, I had gained the stamina to complete it. Can I run a full 3.1 miles yet? No. But I'm trusting the process.

And that's where I find myself in seeking my God-sized dream. Did I accomplish everything I hoped when we started this journey in January? Nope. We didn't host nearly as many people as I had planned. We still don't have many home projects completed. And I know I'm still heavily lacking in my homemaking skills.

But I also know that I'm in the process. We did choose to invite when we could have avoided. We made progress when we could have stagnated. And I'm gaining confidence where there has been great insecurity. We're sharing our home for the summer and figuring out how to turn friends into community and trusting that this step will lead forward.

I don't have to panic about the full distance. I just have to be faithful with the task He's given to me now and trust that my perseverance will grow. I am challenged to dream, to step out of my comfort zone, to invite God's leading above my own. But I'm also challenged to be present, to love fully, to seek the graces right in front of me. And my, there are many.

Linking up here today. Join us?